I believe that some form of comparison with others exists already as long as humanity does. People are social beings and we have always had interpersonal interactions with others. I think that up to some extent it is even beneficial to compare ourselves with others as it can serve as an orientation to see where we are at the moment and evaluate if we want to take some action to move forward. We can even gain valuable feedback and possibly change our lives for the better.
However, comparing yourself to others can also cause pain and feelings of inadequacy. Very fast we can fall into the trap of thinking that there is something missing from our lives. It can make us feel like we don't match up in certain areas and disconnect us from our own lives. We can start thinking that there is something “wrong” with us or that we should work harder to achieve what others have. It can make us want to constantly compete with others and speed up the natural process of life.
One sentence that I heard very often as a child was: “If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?”. This was a way my parents were telling me that I should think for myself instead of following what others do. But the fact is that comparison with others starts early in childhood. Especially, if you grow up with siblings. For example, I remember me and my sister were always checking the gifts we received to make sure one didn't get a “better” one than the other…
We often hear the sentence “Just don't compare yourself to others”. But this is again one of those things that are much easier said than done. After all, comparison with others is engraved in us since our childhood and everyone that works on themselves knows that childhood patterns are not easy to break. I believe that the most important thing to do is to recognize when comparison is beneficial for you and when it starts causing you unpleasant thoughts and feelings. Comparing yourself to others in a healthy way can serve as a way to get new ideas and to inspire you to take certain actions. However, if it starts leading you to dissatisfaction with your own life and feeling inadequate, it is probably worth taking another look at it and distance yourself from it a bit.
I always knew that the way I was comparing myself to others is not really healthy and beneficial for me, but it wasn't until I played the Leela Game that I became really aware of how damaging it actually was. The game showed me that it is important to appreciate the present moment and everything I already have. Because if we keep on “postponing” our happiness, we will never reach it. “I will be happy when I earn more money, when I change my job, when I finish my project, when I get married, when my children grow up…”. No, we should learn to enjoy our lives in every moment and fully embrace its whole process with all of its “ups” and “downs”.
Leela Game also made me realize that everyone has their own timing in life and that it is totally okay if I don't (yet) have certain things. It was the first time that I stopped seeing my life as a competition and started seeing it as a journey - where the goal was not to be better/faster than everyone else around me, but only being a better version of myself every day.
To sum it up, you will never be able to fully stop comparing yourself to others. Living in a society means that there will always be some degree of comparison present. It is just important to be mindful of it and recognize to which extent it is still beneficial for you and when it starts disconnecting you from yourself and your life. Have faith and trust that your life is evolving exactly as it should be. And even if everyone else around you seems to be doing “better” than you, remember that you never really know what is going on in other people's lives. Just think of a famous quote: “Not everything that glitters is gold”. Just focus on yourself, your goals and dreams and enjoy the process of your own life.
If you noticed that unhealthy comparison is affecting your life in a negative way and want to explore this topic further, playing Leela Game might be beneficial for you. Find more information here.
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