All of us have probably already been at the point in our lives when we felt that something or someone is not really good for us, but somehow we were just not able to let it go. Holding onto a relationship that is not beneficial for your well-being and no longer brings you joy, a job that is no longer contributing to your growth or limited beliefs that are preventing you from moving forward in your life.
I used to be a master of holding on. Holding on to people, holding on to certain beliefs and the ideas of how my life could/should be. I didn't really know the reason behind it, I just knew I was not “able” to let it go. In some cases it even took me years to let go. I knew that it was not healthy for me, it was causing me a lot of pain and it was definitely not serving me. With the aim to improve the quality of my life I started searching for a reason why I simply cannot let certain things go…
I believe there is not a single reason for it, but it greatly depends on each individual situation. First and foremost, I believe for most people change is scary and the comfort zone is…well comfortable. When we let go of something it means that in a way our life will change and since we cannot predict the future we don't know how this change will affect us. And this can be very scary. How will my life look like if I let go of this? What if it will be terrible and I will suffer even more? You might have heard already of a quote from a famous poet Erin Hanson: "What if I fall? Oh but darling, what if you fly?". We cannot predict the future, but there are always more outcomes to a certain situation. Having faith in yourself and in the Universe, believing that life always has your back will make it easier for you to stop clinging.
Maybe you are holding on to something due to the belief that there is nothing better out there for you. What if I leave this relationship and I never find anyone else again and will be alone for the rest of my life? What if I quit this job and then stay unemployed for years? Experiencing this fear that there aren't enough resources for all of us and that you might be “left behind”. These limits normally exist only in your mind and if you believe that they are true, life will mirror your beliefs back at you. As soon as you remove those limits from your mind and see that the world has endless opportunities for you, new wonderful experiences will start entering your life.
One reason for not being able to let go can also be that it used to give you pleasure and bring you joy and you are just holding on to these past feelings and the idea of how it could be. Now, I know this situation very well, as I lived in it for several years. Holding on to the idea of how my life could be and then becoming frustrated because it went in the other direction and I was holding on to anger, to resentment, to this “perfect picture”. Until one day I realized that I was not actually living my life in the present moment, I was living in some alternative reality. And that my actual life was actually pretty great already.
One tool that really helped me in letting go of things was the Leela Game. It gave me a confirmation of what isn't beneficial for me anymore and showed me the patterns that were toxic for me and were holding me back. After this realization, I re-evaluated my life and started to make space in it for things and people that were influencing my life in a positive way. If letting go of things isn't easy and doesn't come natural to you - don't worry, because you can also just learn to let go. After all, we are here on this planet to learn and it always takes time to become a master, it doesn't just happen overnight.
I really like to draw inspiration from nature, so let us take a closer look at it: each fall trees let go of their leaves, effortlessly and without any fear. Because they know that soon the spring will come and new, maybe even more “beautiful” leaves will grow. If you notice that something or someone is causing you more pain than pleasure and you believe your life would be more peaceful without this certain thing/person in it - then don't let the fear stop you from moving on without it/them. Keep in mind that new wonderful things and people cannot enter your life, if you don't make space for them. And very soon the “spring” will come for you too. ;)
If you would finally like to let go of something that is no longer serving you and aren't really sure how to do it or what is holding you back, playing Leela Game might be beneficial for you. Find more information here.
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